STEVE HOLT!!
It was me. I was the first Caucasian to illustrate something; anything as “Whack”. I single handily broke down the racial language barrier with what can only be described as relentless bravery. And how does that make me feel? After hearing the lifeless Matt Le Blanc utter “Playstation is whack!” in an uneven, ersatz portrayal of a fictional teenager (in preparation for an acting part in the plot) in the globally renowned series ‘Friends’, I couldn’t help but feel how John Logie Beard must have felt when entertainers continued to stage puppet shows inside small staged boxes subsequent to the introduction of the Television set. “It’s been done, and mine was better” is probably how he felt. And rightly so.
But you can probably trace the roots back further to situation comedies with a strong emphasis on the effervescent, spunky, hip black guy sporting a Letterman jacket and how he differentiates from his not-so-best friend – The white guy. The nerdy, nervous white guy who spouts faux confidence and displays a sheer ineptitude towards pretty much everything. He’s not as cool, witty or as smart as the black guy, but he constantly tries to be like him with the clumsiest of consequences. He might utter a half hearted “That’s whack” whilst taking a basketball by the foot and punting it into the air, in an embarrassing attempt to appear as an African American. But do you ever see the role reversed? The young, flat-topped MC Hammer protégé; wearing a cardigan, drinking tea and perching their face a matter of inches away from their car steering wheel as they grip onto it for dear life with both hands, or however it is white people are portrayed in interracial fictional media. I can’t say I’ve seen it happen. And what catchphrase would they mimic in a way the Caucasian attempts to mimic “That’s whack!” ?
“Bugger” ?
“Rollocks” ?
We can only speculate for the time being.
But that’s not the point here. The Caucasian buffoon may or may not have uttered “That’s whack!” completely void of heart and direction at some point in one of these interracial pantomimes, but it was only subsequent to my uttering of “That’s whack!” at the whole portrayal of the White man struggling to be Black. For once, I’d like to see the role reversed. No more rubbing hands together and licking their lips at just the meagre thought of how fucking cool they are. I want to see the coolest African American on the planet scripted as a Caucasian want-to-be. The bad posture, the acne… Hell, let’s give this gangster a lisp, a speech impediment, and a pair of dungarees. Let’s see him captain the football team when he can’t even say the word “quarterback” without spitting all over the girl he’s trying to bump uglies with.
